“Yikes, have you seen your vagina lately?”
“You have the vagina of a ninety-year old woman.”
“Can’t have intercourse? You’d make a great nun!”
The above phrases were shared with me by patients and attributed to professionals they had consulted regarding their sexual dysfunction. Needless to say, the endeavors were not only futile in solving the sexual dysfunction, but the interactions left the patients feeling embarrassed, angry, hurt, violated, and inadequate.
And for some, they made a silent promise to never bring up the problem again and risk getting hurt. Months and years could pass, with symptoms only getting worse and creating a greater rupture in the relationship, but the door was sealed shut by opening up to a professional. On a certain level, the issue was no longer a work-in-progress but a hopeless enterprise with no resolution in sight.
Perhaps you have brought up your sexual dysfunction to a professional and they didn’t respond in a way that was effective. Maybe they said the exact opposite of what you needed to hear at that moment. Maybe they told you it’s all psychological and you just need to a have a glass of wine. Or they just gave you a shrug and said, ‘just do it’. It’s unfortunate you had that experience and it makes sense that it may be inhibiting your willingness to keep looking for answers.
I know it’s daunting to take the risk again to share your story, but you don’t need to continue living on the sidelines of life. Don’t give up. There is help out there.